Feeling the Need

This week has been a little on the rough side for me. I've been in the throws of the new schedule for 3 weeks now, and am finding that time I once devoted to chores is by natural priority being devoted to 1. therapy 2. school 3. dinner. Then the next thing I know it's 9:00 and I am wishing I had hit the pillow at least 30 min. ago so that I might feel rested to do it all over again. My man bailed me out Saturday and helped me A LOT!! Thank you beloved, you have served me well!

Exhibit A: 10 loads of unfolded laundry (the only exhibit that I dared to take a picture of)

Additionally the last 2 weeks I have been coordinating with 2 Doctors to capitalize on Aggies up coming sedation for her tummy surgery. The neurologist had mentioned getting a muscle biopsy which is the only test that will confirm a mitochondrial myopathy. Her blood test came back negative, which essentially tells us nothing since it does not rule out the disease. (What I tell you next was my mothers idea, she's very smart!) So I called the neurologist and told them Aggie was going to be sedated soon and if there were any more labs or tests they were wanting that I would prefer then do it while she was already asleep. I specifically mentioned the muscle biopsy since at her last appointment they mentioned that would probably be the next step, but chose not to see her again until November to make that decision, frustrating! Anyway to make a long story short after 2 weeks of calling people, leaving messages, and following up on messages (aka. being a squeaky door) it was finally accomplished, Aggie will have a muscle biopsy also on September 21st. This is bitter sweet for me, as I earnestly want to know if our baby has this disease and don't want her to be sedated again for it, she shows many symptoms of it and an early diagnosis just means early intervention. Unfortunately it is a genetic disease with no cure, and all the treatments are based on correcting symptoms. It is a pretty icky disease to have. Additionally if this is what Aggie has, because it is a maternally inherited genetic disease, it means that I probably have it too and to this point in my life have had very mild or no symptoms. This has been a very sobering reality for me to swallow. Now I don't want to say "what if" in any circumstance, b/c the Lord gives us the grace for one day at a time. For a Dr. to test for the same disease twice, does show they think it is very probable that someone has it. This news has caused me to fall into the sin of worry, i cried all day on and off Thursday. I have since repented of my sin. Mike said something that really hit home for me. "We know we need a savior, but sometimes we FEEL our need for a savior, and that is a sweet place to be, because in Christ we have one." I'm sooo thankful for my savior!!!